I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
