so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
