Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
