We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
