i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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