Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
