I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
