God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
