New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
