You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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