Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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