Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
