My first STD was from a foam party
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
