I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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