uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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