I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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