My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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