i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
