I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
