Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
