I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
