Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
