I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
