we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize