Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I faked an abortion last night.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
