worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
