I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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