At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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