i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just pee around me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
