I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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