I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
