Will you blow on my dice?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
