I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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