I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
