First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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