she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
