Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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