I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
