The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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