Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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