Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize