Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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