I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
