I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize