If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
