you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
