remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
