I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
