yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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