In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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