Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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