Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
