Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
