she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
