definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
