she woke up with a sticky ear
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sex in the backyard? Check.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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