It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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