let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
