your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
