it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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