So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
my nose is crying tears of wow.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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