I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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