Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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