i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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