Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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