My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
