You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
