you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
