I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
