were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
