she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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