I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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