He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
