Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
